Accountability hand cuffs

Do you need to get some EPIC shit done? Like stuff that would be hard to get yourself to do? Then you are going to need these different types of accountability cuffs. If you use most or all of these for your next big task or goal, you can get it done. I call them accountability hand cuffs because if NOT doing your task is a crime these will prevent you from being able to commit that crime. Sometimes I have to use them all to prevent myself from slacking. Here goes:

1. Being accountable to yourself cuffs (toy store style) - If you make a lofty goal like working out every morning at 6am and you can do this on your own without telling anyone, more power to you. Most people couldn't, including myself. So to explain here's the problem with being accountable to yourself. YOU WILL LIKELY SLACK. Being accountable to yourself is great, and hopefully as time goes on this will be the most driving thing you have. In the beginning however this probably won't be enough. If you decide to slack what's the worst that will happen? You could likely ignore your inner feelings of failure and move on. Or because you are a lazy criminal you can justify your lack of showing up. I would only use these cuffs in conjunction with the others below, especially in your early years of goal achievement. 

2. Being accountable to someone close cuffs (can't tell if they are a toy or real) - This type of accountability could possibly be great, it depends totally on the person your are telling your goal to. If the person is an achiever and won't let you slack, BAM you've got some nice cuffs. Likely though you'll tell somebody close to you that will let you slide if you slip up. Or worse still if your accountability partner is a slacker, they will slack with you and hope you slack so they feel better. Choose this accountability partner wisely as this will determine your results.  

3. Being accountable to a paid professional cuffs (nice, real, but pick-able) - These are best when you're paying a relatively large amount, an amount that would be uncomfortable to waste. This accountability could be to a coach, a personal trainer, a business group, etc. Basically they are paid to keep you in line so doing a good job requires calling your slacker ass out. These can work VERY nicely. I use these on regular basis. There's one fatal flaw though. If you decide you are done you can essentially "pick" these cuffs and either fire them, or decide you're done listening because it's your money and you can do what you want. 

4. Being accountable to a large group of people cuffs (certified stainless, hard to pick) - These accountability cuffs are great. You have a big goal in mind and you start telling everyone you know. "I'm going to start waking up every weekday morning at 6am to workout, no matter what for a year." You tell everyone you see on a regular basis leading up to starting. It feels scary because IT IS. If you don't come through on your goal you will literally have to disappoint everyone and explain to everyone why you couldn't do what you set out to do. These cuffs work GREAT. Now and then when I know I'm going to be weak I get these babies out. 

For instance I have a bit of a car fetish and I was always spending a bunch on car payments. I couldn't stop. I decided to commit to everyone "I will NEVER finance another car for the rest of my life", I told my friends, family, co-workers for months and guess what, when the time came to slip and finance a bad-ass car, I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to go back on my promise to everyone. These cuffs work, like a charm. I couldn't commit the crime even if I wanted. To  this day I have two paid off cars, and no payments. 

A word of caution on these cuffs. If you break them and break the bad news to everyone that you couldn't do what you set out to do, they won't work as good the next time around. The people in your life will expect you to slack the next time around.  Plus you won't feel as guilty when you break them as you've done it before. Don't break these cuffs, only pull them out when you're ready to commit. 

So yes, you are a lazy slacker criminal. You can't stop yourself from committing total violations of follow through. You are the scum of achiever society... Here's the good news. You're deciding to cuff yourself from committing more crime. I applaud you. You're like the great Odysseus resisting the sirens of mediocrity. Go forth and do great things you filthy animal!